Thursday, May 2, 2013

Improve your self-talk for perfect motivation.

Not only what we say to ourselves, but also how we do that affects on our motivation. When you have important task to do, you can use command "Do it !" to motivate yourself. You can also politely request yourself by saying "Could you do it, please". It has been scientifically proven, that if you ask, it works better. It turned out that "request" not only motivate better, but also have an effect on perseverance.

Think of it this way. If you would really love and respect yourself, would you issue orders for yourself? Imagine that your shadow is your imaginary friend and he continuously saying to you that what you hear in your head. If what you say to yourself, you would like to hear from someone else - a friend or a stranger.
If you not aware what you talk to yourself very often your self-talk is negative. To become a better listener of yourself, you can apply three simple tricks:

  1. Take notes - always carry with you pen and paper or notebook and write your negative talk when it happen.
  2. Stop - when you find yourself in some negative self-talk say out loud "Stop!". Take deep breath, keep it, count to four and release. Focus on the moment between breathing.
  3. Bracelet - wear special bracelet even simply rubber band when you notice that your self-talk is negative pass the bracelet to the other wrist.

Above is the first step, when you more aware about your self-talk. Sometimes it is enough to consciously change it to a positive, but sometimes negative dialogue in your head seams to be unstoppable. What you can do in this situation?

  1. Break your pattern - when you have negative self-talk, do something to change your state, stand up, go for a walk. If you can start to jump or turn on music and start to dance.
  2. Questions - start to ask better question to get better answers. Instead asking "Why can't I do this?" ask yourself "How can I do this?". You can use power of the question to find that your negative talk is not necessary true or even not logical.
  3. Weakening - simply replace some words for weaker synonymous. For example instead of "I hate something" use "I don't like something"
  4. Tapping - some advance but powerful method is tapping (EFT), by tapping points on your body and telling your negative emotions you can release stress and start to think more clearly and positively
  5. Invert - change negative sentence in opposite positive sentence. Maybe on the beginning you feel that this is not true, but if you repeat your positive sentence few times it is big chance that you change your thinking, your interpretation of the facts, and your reality.
  6. SODA - this technique I find on Davidji blog SODA is the acronym for Stop, Observe, Detach, Awaken below short description
"Stop whatever you are doing or thinking; Observe yourself – where you are, who you are with, what is going on from a witnessing perspective; Detach from the drama, charge, and emotion of the moment (you may want to physically take a step back); and then Awaken to the most divine version of yourself." - Davidji
Described above strategies are very effective. Still we can do something to limit negative self-talk. When you surround yourself with positive people your mood will be lifted up. So try to stay away from negative people and environment. Next you can use positive affirmation not from time to time but regularly like body exercise.

Control what and how you talk to yourself will benefit not only your motivation but can also change the quality of your life.

1 comment:

  1. This is a very useful and instructive article. I've been a big fan of self-talk especially Shad Helmstetter's work on the subject. I very much like the formula SODA in particular-any quick device that can help us in the moment. Great piece.